Its summer now, no doubt about it. It got up to at least 85 today, and I expect it will do the same tomorrow.
I was riding in a convertible last night. On a long, empty, country road. I looked up and the sky was clear. It was warm, there was no moon, it was beautiful. The wind was licking at the little hairs on my partially exposed arm. I found myself thinking about how glad I am. How glad I am to be alive. How glad I am to be here today, to see this, to feel this, to have my little arm hairs bent backwards by the wind, to see the stars... to be alive. I was just enjoying the bliss of the moment, looking at the endless beauty above me. Then I thought, this is as good as it gets... Almost. The only thing that could have made it better is if she would've been there. That would've been heaven for me. I started thinking, maybe one day, if I own a farm, or some mountain property maybe, I want to lay with her in the grass, or on the bluff all night long. Just lay there and talk. Enjoy each other's company and enjoy the company of the Father and Mother nature. It would be wonderful. There could be nothing better, or if there is, I surely haven't discovered it yet.
I was laying in the hammock the other day, just reading and enjoying the day. There were puffy tufts of white weightlessness flying high, and I was just happy to be alive and enjoying their company. The wind was whipping good, but not too much. I finished my book that day, it was a perfect way to end a book...Almost. It could've only been better if she was there. I thought about that, and, of anybody in the world, I think she is the only one who could've made that day better if she had been there...
What does that mean? Am I obsessed with this girl, or is this all natural. I know she drives me crazy, and I would love love love to see her. But I don't know what this means. And I guess it doesn't mean anything at all unless she feels the same way. There's no good way to ask her, not with this distance. So I must wait, keep quite, and see what happens. But I know how I feel, and I want to try to explain it to her someway, somehow, to explain what I feel.
Maybe I'm a romantic, I just want things to work out. Want to make it through the summer. What to lay with her on a hot summer night and look at the stars. Want to hold her tight as if there were nothing else in the world. Want to love her... But the question is, does she?
