We should enjoy yourself in this short little time were given. No day is guaranteed, and tomorrow may never come. So it seems like everybody would be doing their best to just enjoy themselves, have a good time, love people, do things, have experiences, build onto who you are. But instead, people run around stressed out about things that don't even matter. I'm doing it right now. I'm studying for a test that I might not even be alive for tomorrow. Why?

Its not fun, so thats definitely not the reason. It's not going to help me at all, or make me be able to do anything I can't now. It makes me sad, not happy. Eliminates any fun time I might have for today, any bit of time that could be spent with friends, or working on a project.

If I died tomorrow, this would probably be a pretty terrible last day of life... Thats depressing. Maybe I'm supposed to enjoy studying, but I don't see how. Its torture. my back hurts, eyes are sleepy, mind wanders elsewhere automatically, I want to do other things, just about anything else, but not this. So I don't know why I'm doing it, other than I want to graduate. I don't even know why I want to graduate. Guess the main thing is that I don't want all this money to be wasted on half a degree, which wouldn't mean anything.

I just want every day to be a great last day, if it has to be. It makes me sad that there have only been a few good last days in the past couple of months.

There are so many things I want to do, but none of them are in the mega huge raging laundry list of things that I'm doing today, tomorrow, or anywhere in the foreseeable future. I don't know why I waste my time on this bullshit, when there's so many things that I could better spend my time on.