Sugar Magnolia

I hope I meet her one day.
Just one day, no hurry,
Sugar Magnolia.
Maybe I've already met her,
Maybe its her,
Maybe she's the one,
Could she be?
Is that possible?
Makes me feel pretty damn good sometimes,
It could be,
It is possible.

I won't keep my hopes up just yet though,
I just hope I get to meet her before my time is up,
Hope I don't run to fast,
Run right past her,
Just see her in a blur,
That would be critical,
Code red,
Mistake of a lifetime,
If I missed out on something like that,
Sugar Magnolia.
She's amazing, makes me feel so good,
Hope I get to meet her,
Its a shame I don't already know her,
Or is it?
Am I old enough to recognize her when I see her,
Or to appreciate how she makes me feel?
Maybe its better if I don't meet her for some number of years,
That way I'll be well aged and well seasoned,
Able to truly appreciate the beauty,
The beyond beauty of Sugar Magnolia.
Hope I meet her one day.

Some thoughts

Hey all,

Just was thinking about it all.
By it all, I mean all of it,
The whole thing,
The dirt, roots, trunk, leaves, and sky,
The whole deal.
Its a pretty good deal,
Pretty damn good I'd say.
Thats what I try to remind myself of,
When I'm ridin' high,
And when I'm skulking the bottom,
I try to remind myself that its a good deal.

I'm cruisin' right along, I guess,
Just chillin,
But I should be getting at the meat of it,
The real cream,
Enjoying every minute, second,
Every point in time,
Every immeasurable hair split of time.
Should be recognizing it,
Giving it some credit.
Remembering.

Sometimes it seems like theres not enough power,
Engines running full throttle,
Can't go any faster.
But its just laziness, It can be overcome.
It takes learning, practice, time.
Any veteran of anything can tell you that.
Same with this,
Same with remembering.

Summer's going to be tough,
Regular tires on the sand,
Hope I don't sink right through,
We can make it if we just ease,
Don't floor it, but for God's sake don't stop!
Can't stop, or else you won't get going again,
Floor it and you'll hit bottom for sure,
Just take it easy, workin' the clutch when you can,
Let her do the same,
She will if she's smart,
If she doesn't, maybe she's not worth keeping anyways.

But I want to keep her,
Hope she understands,
How to drive on sand.

She's amazing, to observe,
But even better to experience firsthand.
It's been real fun,
Hope this isn't the end. She's real good.
But she's also a wild animal,
Lord knows she's got a crazy soul.
You can teach a wild dog to not bite you,
Or to come when you yell,
Maybe even to sit down,
But he's still wild,
If he wants to run away, you can't stop him,
He might bite, he might growl,
He's wild, always has been, always will be.

But still you keep him,
He's real nice to have around in the good times,
But when winter hits,
When the cold sets in, freezes everything,
He can make you feel the ice in your heart,
In every artery, vein, ventricle,
Every cavity, scolding with icicles.

I'm treading on thin ice,
I need to calm down,
Keep the heart beating slow,
So the monster won't hear,
The dreaded monster,
He hears all, it seems,
Won't let you have nothin',
He's vicious,
Can break your bones,
Crush you with his fists, or even his ears,
He's a maniac,
Seems nobody gets away,
Maybe I will, just maybe,
Maybe my technique will pay off,
Who knows,
It can't hurt trying,
At least this way, I'm not worse off then I started
Of if I end up worse,
I've learned something for sure.
And you sure as hell can't be worse off if you've learned something.
So I'm gonna keep walking,
Nice and slow,
Just enjoying,
Remembering.
Everything.

Daydream

Today I kept falling asleep in class. I had a little dream each time, sort of half in, half out of sleep. Every time, the dream was about her, in some way or another. Sometimes I'll drift off and then when I realize I have drifted off, I realize that I was just daydreaming about her. Is it obsession, or natural train of thought? I don't know, but it doesn't really matter, I can't help it.

I wish I was pretty ballsie and could just go up and kiss her, but I'm way to scared. There's no telling how she would react, it could go either way, and I'm too stingy to bet all my money on one hand. Maybe with some other girl, that didn't matter as much to me, but not with her. I can't exactly afford to screw it up if I don't catch the Ace.

I'm Tired...

I'm tired of a lot of shit. I'm sorry, but I'm about to let loose, so any young kids out there might want to skip this one. Also sorry for bitching and moaning, but I just feel like it. I'm so tired of some people being around all the damn time. All the time! I can't get away, and it wouldn't be so bad if I could get away, but I can't. I wish I could just spend the evening with her, but he's always there too. Always. And when he's not, I enjoy everything so much more. I guess I'll just have to deal with it, but it really gets on my nerves. All I wanna do is be close to her. He's a good friend, but I bring him EVERYWHERE with me. If she comes home with me, I'm sure I'll have to bring him too, unless I can find someone else, so the car is totally full and there's no room. I know he'll say yes to coming home, just because he's a bastard and doesn't have anything better to do than ruin my time. Not really, that's just the mad in me talking. He just doesn't have anything better to do. I wish he would just shove off for a couple days, just so I can get a break. I need a break. I also need some time alone with her. I should have already sealed the deal, but didn't. I just waited, you know, I'm not to eager anymore, it'll come, I'm not even worried about it.

I hate guitar hero, I hate it when he's around and there's no place to go. And I hate it when he plays guitar hero and sits in the room and there's nowhere for me to go. Nobody's awake. I also hate it when he copies me. One day, I was giving her a massage, and no less than 10 minutes after I was done, he was over there doing the same. I hate that shit. Its petty to say the least. Even if he's not trying to win her over, its still a dick move. I hate that shit.

Ok, I guess I'm done bitching now, sorry for it, but there's no one awake to talk to and I've got to write it somewhere.

One Thing

Don't you hate it when theres only one thing that you really want to do, but thats the only one thing that you really can't do? I hate that. It happens all too often, messes with your head. Its pretty frustrating.

Sometimes

Sometimes I hate people. Not everybody, just certain people, like my roommate, specifically. He's cool and all, its just some things he does. When you live with someone, you will disagree with some things they do, guaranteed. I now know that, after a semester in college. Anyways, we have all the same friends, and he's always around, Always. He stays up late, and I stay up late, as you can tell by the time of this post. The only thing thats worse is that I'm positive he likes the girl that I like. I know he does. It doesn't bother me because he's trying to steal her or anything, because I also know for a fact that she does not return the feeling for him, but more just because he still likes her and he knows I do. I don't know, maybe thats selfish or something, but I don't care. He's always around when we hang out, so I hardly ever get alone time with her. (Just in case you were wondering, this is the same girl from before). Every time he's gone, I get really really happy. I don't think thats just coincidence. It can't be.

It wouldn't be bad if it were just for this year, but I'm pretty sure we're rooming together next year too. I mean I already told him I would room with him, so theres not much I can do. Don't get me wrong, the guy is my friend and all, but its just he's always around, and I know he would love to mac on my girl.

Now that I'm done bitching, I'll try to write a little happy note or something maybe. (By the way, sorry for whining like a little girl, but I sorta had to get it off my chest, and I don't really know anyone that would be up at 4:30 that I would want to talk to.) Um, yea, the happy thing. I just had Waffle House (yes the roommate came) and it was pretty awesome (except for the roommate being there). The waitress gave all of us a free waffle, so I pretty much love her. She's my new favorite. I wish I coulda' tipped her like $50 but I just don't have that kinda dough. Those people work super hard, and at crazy hours of the night, just to serve a bunch of drunk college kids who are usually snobby and not very polite. They deserve much better than the pay they receive, so I'm going to try to tip them as much as I can from now on. They probably have to support a family just on the tips they get from that place. That's really tough, and I figure I'm a little more fortunate, so giving a little extra can't hurt.

Aftermath

It drives me crazy when I start thinking about something. I get something in my head and I can't get it out until I've completely got it figured out. Sometimes that can be weeks or months. Thats the way it was with her. She just got out of a long relationship, so she told me she doesn't want to get back into anything serious, even though she had some feelings for me. It didn't break my heart or anything, its all cool, it just makes my job a little harder. Now, I've got to make her almost desperate for me, and I have no idea how. I guess I'll just keep doing what I've been doing, and hope it works. Hope she starts to like me so much she can't stand not being with me. That would be ideal, but who knows, things never work out according to plan. So I never got another kiss, I still want it. She has such beautiful lips...